I FINALLY made it to the pool this morning. And it was sad.
I've maybe been in the pool 5-6 times since September with the move and my sheer lack of motivation, and after the first length I knew I'd lost any and all swimming form and skill I've ever had. Well, not exactly as I've really only been able to swim for the past year of my life and was able to get across the pool okay. I ended up doing 50m in about 1:10 with a 30 second rest, hoping to remember some skills in the water.
It was one of those days that made me glad I was in the water. Because it hides my tears. I have a long way to go.
My knees are still bothering me after the marathon a little. Maybe a few more long runs will be in order before the next one to get my body used to the distance. Yes, I said next one. There might be another marathon in my future, oh yes. And it might be part of an Ironman.
While not an official declaration of insanity, I'll just say that I really want to do an iron-distance event in the next couple of years. That was part of the reason for running the marathon, to see what it was going to take to get 26.2 miles done. The 112 miles on the bike, well, I've done that and more lots of times in either distance or time.
Of course, there's that little 2.4 mile swim at the start of the race. Which is where my Ironman dreams have a burlap sack thrown over them and get beaten with a rubber hose. Think splashing and flailing but not really going anywhere fast and that's me, Mr. No Skills.
And I'm afraid of drowning. And deep water, like over my waist deep. And I get claustrophobic.
I've started two triathlons and not finished a swim. The anxiety kills me and I end up doing a half-assed backstroke. Or, in the case of the second tri, I made it halfway to the first buoy and turned around.
Maybe I watched Jaws too many times as a kid. And I remember nearly drowning a couple of times in pools. I really shouldn't let something as trivial as death get in the way of doing something I've always wanted to do. But the mind is jacked up. Even with a wetsuit on, basically a frigging life jacket suit, I lose my cool and can't keep my face in the water. Which is made worse because I'm not cool at all really and hate to lose the little bit I have.
After taking last week off from running to give my knees a break, I think I'll start up again today. It's a good excuse to take a long lunch.
1 comment:
well, let me just say that you're not alone on your fear and anxiety of the swim. the only thing that makes that better? practice in open water. and not only that, but practice in open water with friends swimming over you, punching, kicking, generally trying to mess you up.
but, before you get to that, i would recommend reading "Total Immersion" and developing your stroke.
benny and i swim up at pineview every weekend once it warms up a bit and you're more than welcome to join us. we usually do the swim and then bike around the lake a couple of times... we'd be more than happy to try to drown you. ;)
plus, benny's a really good teacher. he could give you some pointers! trust me, if i can do it, YOU can do it.
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