September 26, 2013

Why I Don't Write More

And I'm back for another surprise installment. My blog is like Forrest's box of chocolates like that, you never know when you're going to get a new one. This mess started out as a way to chronicle the ups and downs in my sporting life. Sure, I've strayed off that course a wee bit but not very far, nor often. Honestly, I feel like a whiny crier face every time I log in as of late.

The trouble is, my sporting life hasn't been all that interesting the past few years. I have a big year then I take a year off. I had my big half iron triathlon and XTERRA four years ago. Yay! Took a year off. Last year was LOTOJA and I think I did a race report, but training was so boring I didn't want to relive the drudgery and crotch rash of eight hour rides. This year, another year off. So it follows, that this blog is going to sit idle.

I've thought about taking it into new realms. Talking about my attempts at golf, the monumental suck of running, Smarty Pants' soccer games ... whatever I have material for. I like guns. I could talk about guns. Politics and the destruction of the country? I could talk about it but I wouldn't like it, and neither would many of you enjoy my perspective. Plus, if I ever need a new job this blog may be plumbed by a prospective employer. In the words of Axl Rose, "Where do we go now? Where do we go?"

I'm not sure.

But this blog, however infrequently I contribute to it, does serve a purpose. It helps blows the cobwebs off of my brain and keyboard when new words for work just aren't coming through. See, this being creative shit isn't easy. I mean, it's probably easier for those like me than it is for a great many people. Just like math is easy for some people and their comprehension of something as unholy and formulaic as Algebra makes me want to punch those people in their windpipes — so to speak.

Still, I think I am going to keep plugging along. I'm going to make an especially big attempt to spend some extra time here in the coming months because winter. And I have a season pass for all the snowboarding I can handle. I'm hoping it all will ward off the seasonal affect disorder that I have officially diagnosed myself with. (Hey, I have a psych degree.)

On the sporting side, I have been running a bit and the legs are starting to come around, at last. What with LOTOJA last year and sort of an off year prior to that, I had lost my stride. But I have been earnest in making a return to running. Even tentatively planning some events next year — As I write, more and more topics come up. I still want to learn to skate ski this winter. Seriously considering trying to learn to play guitar. House projects that almost certainly will bring calamity from which hilarity will flow — which is why I'm here. 

August 26, 2013

Weight Loss Update!

Though I didn't officially say I was going to chronicle my weight loss, I may. I may because I could not at any time. I like to be unpredictable.

My last weigh-in on Thursday was 163.4 pounds on the home scale. This morning was 161.2. Yay?

It could be dehydration. I rode Skyline Trail yesterday with gearing I am not used to and too tall for the extended climb. I was crawling all over the bike to get to the top. But I made it. I had to, the truck was on the other side of the mountain.

Still, I like to think it was the running and riding the past few days that made it happen. So, if it was a fluke, we'll see. I took today off because I am beat from yesterday. But I'll hit it again tomorrow.

Clean shaven here I come...

August 21, 2013

The Beard that Keeps on Giving

I'm over the beard.

I'm tired of the Duck Dynasty references. The hipster jabs. Really tired of the gray in it. Drying it, trimming it. Combing out the snarls.

Yet the beard remains. It remains because my back fat remains. My weak attempts at weight loss fail. The 10 pounds I wanted to lose to shave it have now become 13 pounds.

But I am out of the rut I was in. Now, I'm just busy doing ... stuff. Projects and work taking my exercise time. Not that I am battling to find more time, mind you.

I need goals. I need to have an end before I can start. Climbing onto my bike for a ride is great, but the furthest thing from my mind is an interval. No goal, no schedule. Just flitting along day by day. It has merit, you know.

Still, it's time to lose the weight and shave the beard.

April 29, 2013

Why I Hate the Gym

As Dog is my witness, I hate the gym. Not the going to the gym part, mind you, I like the lifting weights and having more equipment available lets me to push beyond what my modest home gym allows. I guess what I am getting at is this, I hate the people at the gym.

Not all of them, I guess. But most. Nearly all in fact. I'm sure that, when they aren't staring at themselves and flexing in the mirror, most of them are way cooler than their overt narcissism lets on. And I would almost guarantee that many of them are very considerate, maybe even stopping at a crosswalk to let people cross. But you would never guess it when they pick up the biggest dumbbells imaginable off the rack, take one step backward, and proceed to exercise. They then slam the dumbbells back on the rack and flex. While I wait for them to move away from the rack so I can retrieve substantially lighter dumbbells. Sometimes, they can't contain their agony and vocalize it through grunts and groans during their reps followed by a resounding slam when they drop their weights to the ground from on high. Dude ... bro...

It isn't just men either. Women are just as bad, albeit in other ways. Many ladies at the gym have a misguided paranoia of "bulking up" and seem to enjoy lifting weights in a manner that takes up as much room as possible instead of just flopping on their backs and grunting it 2 or 3 max reps with 10 minute recovery like dudes.

Example: I'm hitting the gym because I'm fat the other day and a lady comes over and starts doing this weird push up move, but instead of just doing a simple goddamn push up, she starts swinging her legs around and over the back of her head. At first I though she was coming onto me via some strange African mating ritual, then I remembered that I am fat and beardy. In other words, instead of taking up the amount of space needed to perform a proper push up, she is taking four times that amount. Now me, I am using an 18-inch box for jumps and mountain climbers, a kettle bell for woodchoppers and the exact amount of floor needed for push ups. And I'm tucked neatly away in the corner, looking out at the sweaty, bulging, flexing masses with my eyes wild.

As I finish my second set, I just sort of turn away from the tai chi push up lady. But notice her move the jump box back about 10 inches to the wall and she starts jumping rope.


Now, I, uh had that shit there for a reason. I didn't want to jump up on the box and smack the wall. I wanted it where it was so that if I overcooked my jump I would fall farther, faster, and smack the wall in a much more dramatic and painful fashion.

I picked it up and moved it back, making sure she was watching. Then finished up my last two sets, slid the box back against the wall and walked away. I then watched jump rope lady use 40 feet of gym, passing two classroom doors and making people avoid her while jumping rope. She's trying to lose some baby weight, not fight Apollo Creed. I saw another doing a similar thing with split squats. Down the length of the building and back. Guess doing this shit in place doesn't call out to everyone that they are exercising in booty shorts and a skimpy sports bra enough. Just need that affirmation...

And that was just Saturday. I can only imagine what it will be like when I go during a busier time. When I can straighten my arms without my eyes watering again I'll let you know.

March 11, 2013

The Rut, Part II

This rut is EPIC.

I don't want to do anything. At all. And the stuff that I do is at half speed. I don't even sleep that great. And I have no explanation for any of it.

Maybe I am bored with the normal things I do and need some new challenges. A couple of the few people that I bother with my whining have told me I could be depressed. Maybe I just want a break because I've been training and competing for a long time. Other than working through a couple of injuries and Hannah being born, I haven't even slowed down very much. In spite of my current level of sloth, it isn't like there still aren't goals and challenges that I want to take on, this year.

For example, I think I want to run another marathon. It would be fun to do some mountain bike racing like the old days. And I really want to do the XTERRA long course this year. And maybe another half Iron triathlon before finally going for a full Iron. Nothing beyond my reach if I can start training.

Maybe daylight savings will be my savior. It kicked in yesterday so we will find out soon.