I was thinking about superheroes the other day and something occurred to me; what do superheroes and super villains do when they aren't up to anything heroey or diabolical? Sure, sure, sure, they are busy planning their next scheme or training or searching for bad guys or working at the Daily Planet. I get that. I'm talking about the more mundane stuff. And not every one of them has an alter ego that they can use to escape with. What about them?
Let's say that The Joker gets away from Batman and a few days later decides he wants a latte. But Batman knocked the snot out of him and maybe he just isn't into confrontation. Does he put on a costume and head to Starbucks? Does he just go for it as is and risk it, hoping he doesn't have to take out any cops or has another run in with the Caped Crusader? Would he pay for it or steal it?
What about someone with a really ornate costume like Thor. What if he has to take a crap? Do they crap on Asgard? He's a God but he eats. Wouldn't he crap, too? Would he have to take off his armor? Would it magic off of him or would he spend five minutes groaning and taking it off whilst hopping from one foot to the other? I'm sure he has to take off his cape, unless he drapes it over the toilet. I'd leave the helmet on if I were him. I would grab the wings when I bore down...
What about Aquaman? Does he ever wash his suit? Just take it off and hang around with his Aquawilly floating there while he does his laundry. Maybe he has a robe he wears.
Bane. He wears a mask that Screenrant.com claims "provides conduits which Bane uses to pump an
enhanced steroid known as “venom” into his body. The venom serum gives
Bane wildly augmented strength and stamina, but as a side effect it also
makes him dangerously psychotic." Fair enough. So what if he wants a sandwich? Does that guy even eat? He's human, but if he has a venom injecting mask stuck on his head, I have to think there is some integration that would make feeding difficult. Perhaps he is so intent on revenge and the wanton destruction of Gotham City food for steroids is a worthy tradeoff.
Do any of these superheroes and villains have sex? Because there are a lot of limitations in costumes and gamma-ray affected anatomy to make it difficult, if not outright impossible. Like Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique. Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique is blue and has the nude/scaley thing going, but Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique doesn't wear clothes. Does that mean Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique is an exhibitionist? Or does Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique not have any goodie bits to view. Sure, Jennifer Lawrence/Mystique can "change," but...
Anyway, just some insight the next time you sit down to watch Captain America. Who incidentally....
May 21, 2014
I'm Here!
I'm still here! Which is not to say that I am back. Around is maybe the better way to put it.
Honestly, I didn't realize that I had not written about anything since September. But I lead a droll life, so there isn't much to mention. Just the holidays and a great winter of snowboarding with Smarty Pants who has taken to skiing like a fearless little duck to water. I age every time I go and watch her careening down the slopes with a careless abandon held only by those that have never crashed hard enough to bend backwards into the shape of a horseshoe. I didn't make it skate skiing either, yet.
Which brings me to this windy and reasonably wet spring that is taking it's time to be sprung. Now, in the waning days of May I find that I have been on one mountain bike ride and but a handful of road rides. Why not more? Part weather, part busy, part broken sewer pipe that cost $6,000.00 dollars to fix! Part turning 40 (eeeek!). But mostly I have spent the little free time I have training to run another marathon. The Ogden Marathon, specifically. And by marathon, I mean the 26.2 mile monster. Not a 5k held on the same day.
Now I know that you are just dying to know how it went. And I am going to tell you in my next installment. Which will happen in fewer than eight months.
I promise.
Honestly, I didn't realize that I had not written about anything since September. But I lead a droll life, so there isn't much to mention. Just the holidays and a great winter of snowboarding with Smarty Pants who has taken to skiing like a fearless little duck to water. I age every time I go and watch her careening down the slopes with a careless abandon held only by those that have never crashed hard enough to bend backwards into the shape of a horseshoe. I didn't make it skate skiing either, yet.
Which brings me to this windy and reasonably wet spring that is taking it's time to be sprung. Now, in the waning days of May I find that I have been on one mountain bike ride and but a handful of road rides. Why not more? Part weather, part busy, part broken sewer pipe that cost $6,000.00 dollars to fix! Part turning 40 (eeeek!). But mostly I have spent the little free time I have training to run another marathon. The Ogden Marathon, specifically. And by marathon, I mean the 26.2 mile monster. Not a 5k held on the same day.
Now I know that you are just dying to know how it went. And I am going to tell you in my next installment. Which will happen in fewer than eight months.
I promise.
September 26, 2013
Why I Don't Write More
And I'm back for another surprise installment. My blog is like Forrest's box of chocolates like that, you never know when you're going to get a new one. This mess started out as a way to chronicle the ups and downs in my sporting life. Sure, I've strayed off that course a wee bit but not very far, nor often. Honestly, I feel like a whiny crier face every time I log in as of late.
The trouble is, my sporting life hasn't been all that interesting the past few years. I have a big year then I take a year off. I had my big half iron triathlon and XTERRA four years ago. Yay! Took a year off. Last year was LOTOJA and I think I did a race report, but training was so boring I didn't want to relive the drudgery and crotch rash of eight hour rides. This year, another year off. So it follows, that this blog is going to sit idle.
I've thought about taking it into new realms. Talking about my attempts at golf, the monumental suck of running, Smarty Pants' soccer games ... whatever I have material for. I like guns. I could talk about guns. Politics and the destruction of the country? I could talk about it but I wouldn't like it, and neither would many of you enjoy my perspective. Plus, if I ever need a new job this blog may be plumbed by a prospective employer. In the words of Axl Rose, "Where do we go now? Where do we go?"
I'm not sure.
But this blog, however infrequently I contribute to it, does serve a purpose. It helps blows the cobwebs off of my brain and keyboard when new words for work just aren't coming through. See, this being creative shit isn't easy. I mean, it's probably easier for those like me than it is for a great many people. Just like math is easy for some people and their comprehension of something as unholy and formulaic as Algebra makes me want to punch those people in their windpipes — so to speak.
Still, I think I am going to keep plugging along. I'm going to make an especially big attempt to spend some extra time here in the coming months because winter. And I have a season pass for all the snowboarding I can handle. I'm hoping it all will ward off the seasonal affect disorder that I have officially diagnosed myself with. (Hey, I have a psych degree.)
On the sporting side, I have been running a bit and the legs are starting to come around, at last. What with LOTOJA last year and sort of an off year prior to that, I had lost my stride. But I have been earnest in making a return to running. Even tentatively planning some events next year — As I write, more and more topics come up. I still want to learn to skate ski this winter. Seriously considering trying to learn to play guitar. House projects that almost certainly will bring calamity from which hilarity will flow — which is why I'm here.
The trouble is, my sporting life hasn't been all that interesting the past few years. I have a big year then I take a year off. I had my big half iron triathlon and XTERRA four years ago. Yay! Took a year off. Last year was LOTOJA and I think I did a race report, but training was so boring I didn't want to relive the drudgery and crotch rash of eight hour rides. This year, another year off. So it follows, that this blog is going to sit idle.
I've thought about taking it into new realms. Talking about my attempts at golf, the monumental suck of running, Smarty Pants' soccer games ... whatever I have material for. I like guns. I could talk about guns. Politics and the destruction of the country? I could talk about it but I wouldn't like it, and neither would many of you enjoy my perspective. Plus, if I ever need a new job this blog may be plumbed by a prospective employer. In the words of Axl Rose, "Where do we go now? Where do we go?"
I'm not sure.
But this blog, however infrequently I contribute to it, does serve a purpose. It helps blows the cobwebs off of my brain and keyboard when new words for work just aren't coming through. See, this being creative shit isn't easy. I mean, it's probably easier for those like me than it is for a great many people. Just like math is easy for some people and their comprehension of something as unholy and formulaic as Algebra makes me want to punch those people in their windpipes — so to speak.
Still, I think I am going to keep plugging along. I'm going to make an especially big attempt to spend some extra time here in the coming months because winter. And I have a season pass for all the snowboarding I can handle. I'm hoping it all will ward off the seasonal affect disorder that I have officially diagnosed myself with. (Hey, I have a psych degree.)
On the sporting side, I have been running a bit and the legs are starting to come around, at last. What with LOTOJA last year and sort of an off year prior to that, I had lost my stride. But I have been earnest in making a return to running. Even tentatively planning some events next year — As I write, more and more topics come up. I still want to learn to skate ski this winter. Seriously considering trying to learn to play guitar. House projects that almost certainly will bring calamity from which hilarity will flow — which is why I'm here.
August 26, 2013
Weight Loss Update!
Though I didn't officially say I was going to chronicle my weight loss, I may. I may because I could not at any time. I like to be unpredictable.
My last weigh-in on Thursday was 163.4 pounds on the home scale. This morning was 161.2. Yay?
It could be dehydration. I rode Skyline Trail yesterday with gearing I am not used to and too tall for the extended climb. I was crawling all over the bike to get to the top. But I made it. I had to, the truck was on the other side of the mountain.
Still, I like to think it was the running and riding the past few days that made it happen. So, if it was a fluke, we'll see. I took today off because I am beat from yesterday. But I'll hit it again tomorrow.
Clean shaven here I come...
My last weigh-in on Thursday was 163.4 pounds on the home scale. This morning was 161.2. Yay?
It could be dehydration. I rode Skyline Trail yesterday with gearing I am not used to and too tall for the extended climb. I was crawling all over the bike to get to the top. But I made it. I had to, the truck was on the other side of the mountain.
Still, I like to think it was the running and riding the past few days that made it happen. So, if it was a fluke, we'll see. I took today off because I am beat from yesterday. But I'll hit it again tomorrow.
Clean shaven here I come...
August 21, 2013
The Beard that Keeps on Giving
I'm over the beard.
I'm tired of the Duck Dynasty references. The hipster jabs. Really tired of the gray in it. Drying it, trimming it. Combing out the snarls.
Yet the beard remains. It remains because my back fat remains. My weak attempts at weight loss fail. The 10 pounds I wanted to lose to shave it have now become 13 pounds.
But I am out of the rut I was in. Now, I'm just busy doing ... stuff. Projects and work taking my exercise time. Not that I am battling to find more time, mind you.
I need goals. I need to have an end before I can start. Climbing onto my bike for a ride is great, but the furthest thing from my mind is an interval. No goal, no schedule. Just flitting along day by day. It has merit, you know.
Still, it's time to lose the weight and shave the beard.
I'm tired of the Duck Dynasty references. The hipster jabs. Really tired of the gray in it. Drying it, trimming it. Combing out the snarls.
Yet the beard remains. It remains because my back fat remains. My weak attempts at weight loss fail. The 10 pounds I wanted to lose to shave it have now become 13 pounds.
But I am out of the rut I was in. Now, I'm just busy doing ... stuff. Projects and work taking my exercise time. Not that I am battling to find more time, mind you.
I need goals. I need to have an end before I can start. Climbing onto my bike for a ride is great, but the furthest thing from my mind is an interval. No goal, no schedule. Just flitting along day by day. It has merit, you know.
Still, it's time to lose the weight and shave the beard.
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