So, it's been a while.

My first entry in almost eight months — to the day. Eight months. How do I put eight months into just a few paragraphs?

I'm not even gonna try.

But I will say that winter sucked because there was shit for snow which meant that I decided to put Smarty Pants' ski lessons on hold lest she shatter her fragile little wrists. Noshoeing. (That is no snowshoeing. I like to play with words. They are my clay.) And my dreams of learning to skate ski also fell to the wayside. But I did manage a few mountain bike rides in February and March. And that summed up winter. Oh, and it was sorta cold.

Spring came. Moab Half Marathon. Slowest time ever. I guess I should have taken advantage of the warmer winter weather to train.

Happily it didn't rain and snow until July then turn 95° instantly like 2011. I was mountain biking pretty regularly. Then it happened. I got into LOTOJA in May. And that has pretty much been my sporting life. For the last few months I've been wearing my road bike like a necktie and riding it twice a week, three times if I am lucky, and telling myself how shitty it would be to go mountain biking. All the dust, you know. But times are changin'. With only a few weeks until I ride that gooch-shattering 206 miles from Logan to Jackson Hole, this weekend is my last hard training week and then it's all taper. Which means some mountain biking.

And maybe a race report.

I have a real coach and everything

Yeah. I gots me a coach n' shit. HOLLA!

That might mean nothing to you unless you are toeing a starting line against me, but it means everything to me. It means I have to think less and just do. But mostly it means accountability.

This person is helping me get fit, therefore I owe it to myself, and them, to follow the workouts as prescribed. I still have no main season goals so we are just building right now. The important thing is that I am in motion and moving forward even if I don't know where I am headed.

Two months until Moab Half!

2012 Status Report

So far mocking and self loathing are doing a better job at getting me into workout mode than self pity and self loathing ever did. Still not totally in the game, but it's coming on. I'll bet one of my biggest motivators will be dropping a few pounds. Nothing will make me feel better than losing some backfat.

It snowed finally. Not really enough to want to snowboard on, and trails are not good enough to justify this years' XC ski purchase. Really all the snow did was make it so I can't mountain bike anymore. And make it feel colder than it actually is. Maybe it will keep dumping and my XC ski dreams will materialize, as will my hope to get Smarty Pants on the slopes. Student of the Month of January Smarty Pants. (proud)

Goodbye 2012!

I haven't posted since October. I could talk about why, believe me, I have excuses. But I won't trouble you. Here's to a new and improved me in 2012.

The first thing I am going to do is make a New Year's Resolution to get back to the old me. You know, the guy that doesn't jiggle when he runs and doesn't float in the water.

Now, the resolution is important because I don't believe in making resolutions. Maybe I haven't had the need in the past, or perhaps I just hate the idea of another failed promise to myself, but I despise the entire notion of New Year's resolutions. Which is why I am going to make one. I hope that the feeling of self loathing I get from doing it spurs me into action. Yes, it has come to this...

Don't try this at home, I am a trained professional. If you recall, a couple of years ago, I pledged to grow my hair until I competed in a half iron-distance race. I did it, did it, and my hair has been getting progressively shorter since courtesy of Wifey. New year, new pledge. Been there with the hair. What could I do as penance until I reach the goal of finding my lost fitness? Did the hair grow. Grow a beard? Too itchy and I look old. Denying myself of things just pisses me off. No coffee until I finish my workout? See how long that lasts. I'm weak. I couldn't think of anything to shave, grow, deny, treat, etc. that I thought would make me stick to a regimen. And I need one. NEED. Because I have really become an unmotivated sloth of a bitch-man this last year. Then it came to me, do some self-goading. It might work.

At the stroke of midnight on January 1, 2012, I am going to resolve to get into a shape that isn't round. Then I am going to have a drink, because that is what I do on New Year's. To help me with my cause I am making races my goals. Races cost money. I won't invest in entry fees and show up ill prepared. Getting my money's worth does not mean I stay out on the course longer because I suck. I've already entered the Moab spring half marathon. I sucked it last year. My first goal is to have 100% less suck this year.

But I am not sure what else to do. Maybe another marathon. Maybe LOTOJA. Maybe another half iron. I'm really considering the Moab XTERRA in June. It is a qualifier for the nationals at Snowbasin. And how I would love to qualify to race in the smaller field. So it is an evolution at this point. I'll have to see how work, funds and Wifey's training goals fit in also. But I already feel optimistic. I do know that it is going to be 50° in Ogden this weekend and I am going to go riding or running on New Year's Day.

Hell, I might even post here more regularly.

Originality

I came to grips with the fact, yes fact, that there are no more original ideas. No matter how outlandish the idea, it has been thought of. How crazy the idea, it has been wadded up and tossed llike a jumpshot into the wastebin of history.

Perfect example, preparing for a semi formal event last week someone asked if I was going to wear a tuxedo. I said no, but I might wear a Speedo. Nay, a tuxspeedo. I thought I was being clever. Yet a quick Google search proved, with nary a frightening doubt, that the tuxspeedo has been thought of, tested and hopefully perfected. Still, it was funny.

I know you'll Google it. But I don't recommend it.